i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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