We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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