the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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