i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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