do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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