I just cut my nipple shaving
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
