I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think your dad took our porno
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
