Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize