$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
