I chose taco bell over sex...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
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I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
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He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me