just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
