We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
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You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
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Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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