Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?

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(603): Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies? http://tfl.nu/c806

Replies (6) Good night (3034) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works

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(678): No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works http://tfl.nu/f20p

Replies (10) Good night (2448) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.

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(651): Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real. http://tfl.nu/xrrz

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(571): View more from Virginia

I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.

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(571): I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub. http://tfl.nu/fw5s

Replies (21) Good night (1327) Bad night (4270) Order T-Shirt
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(541): View more from Oregon

You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.

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(541): You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were. http://tfl.nu/i5vx

Replies (5) Good night (5784) Bad night (1290) Order T-Shirt
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(646): View more from New York

its my first week of college and i have a UTI

(718): View more from New York

not easy being a whore now is it

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(646): its my first week of college and i have a UTI (718): not easy being a whore now is it http://tfl.nu/tyxw

Replies (23) Good night (1292) Bad night (4447)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.

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(250): I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk. http://tfl.nu/fti6

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(845): View more from New York

Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.

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(845): Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye. http://tfl.nu/5hfu

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(330): View more from Ohio

I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.

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(330): I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show. http://tfl.nu/dej0

Replies (5) Good night (2185) Bad night (740)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show

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(856): and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show http://tfl.nu/o1xq

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(845): View more from New York

Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.

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(845): Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent. http://tfl.nu/xb5q

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(347): View more from New York

He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.

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(347): He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka. http://tfl.nu/57bc

Replies (3) Good night (1619) Bad night (464)
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(916): View more from California

I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.

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(916): I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made. http://tfl.nu/41km

Replies (5) Good night (1211) Bad night (411)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.

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(778): Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town. http://tfl.nu/ynab

Replies (4) Good night (700) Bad night (287)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.

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(250): Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults. http://tfl.nu/wfm3

Replies (6) Good night (1301) Bad night (233) Order T-Shirt

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