what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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