i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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