Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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