plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
