we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We left the knife in your bed.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
