I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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