the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
