hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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