can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
