make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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