Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
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She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
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when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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