I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Two words: blizzard sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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