Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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