YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
