my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
