i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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