If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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