u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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