just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize