I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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