A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
