And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
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i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
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You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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