winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
