OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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