You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
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Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
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No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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