And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize