Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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