her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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