Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
