I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize