fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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