Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
