he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
