If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs