so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
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