She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize