Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
